Yes or No?
How easy is it to stand in your truth, speak honestly and freely all the time and just do your own thing without feeling obliged to others or guilty for doing what you want?
We all do things to help others out at times and that’s a good and kind thing. It’s nice to help others out when you can. However, how often do you feel obliged? Are you easily persuaded by others to do things that you don’t really want to or are you easily influenced by what others think you should do? At times we may say yes when we really mean no, for any number of reasons. When we do this too often, we are leaning into the realms of ‘people pleasing’. This can be so utterly detrimental to our own well-being.
When we do say no, it can be perceived or responded to with the sad face response. Saying no is generally perceived as a negative. It doesn’t have to be! How often do we feel like we need to explain our reasons or make an excuse to support that no, to save another person from feeling rejected or sad? We feel guilty for our truth, based on what others may think of us or our own projections of what we think is expected. I know I still experience this feeling rising in me sometimes, although I am very good at saying no these days, when that is what I truly mean. At times it is also good to say yes! Striking a healthy balance is where we want to be. Knowing ourselves well enough to know when to say yes and when to say no.
When we are able to say no clearly, what we are really saying is yes to our truth. We create a healthy boundary for ourselves. Being able to speak freely and truthfully is empowering and so good for the self-esteem. By speaking our truth we honour ourself and this is moving in the direction of self love. We live in a world full of assumptions and people taking things personally. Some people get offended so easily when something isn’t how they would do it, say it, present it and it’s easy to get caught up in this energy of expectation.
Clarity of our own needs and beliefs, of our own way of doing things is essential for us to maintain integrity and honesty about how we want to be and do things in life. Or who we want to do them with. We are all human and can all be sensitive, some more than others. I’m a sensitive soul at the best of times, although also direct and I have a strong sense of boundaries which I have developed over time, as I learned to listen to my own internal guidance system. In built to keep me safe and well. It is this internal voice though that can be running on autopilot with old outmoded subconscious programming. As we are mindful of our behaviour and choices, we can regularly assess which programmes are running and whether or not they are still relevant.
Learning to listen to our own internal guidance system is fundamental. Learning to value our own worth is super important! Knowing when to say yes and when to say no from a place of truth and integrity and with well-being at the centre of each choice, helps us to make the right one.
As always… it’s all about Balance!